the13tharcana | IC contact post for Adstringendum

[And that earns you yet another soft chuckle from him, Josh.]

...To be completely honest? Me neither, haha...

[Ryoji gave himself a few seconds to calm down a bit more. Getting that breathing under control again would have been nice.]

And you're still as composed as ever...

[Seriously Josh, how were you even doing this...]

Sorry, it's just... this is all so new to me.

[For any normal person, something like that would have been probably hard to admit. ...But to Ryoji, it just felt like he had no reason to be hiding something like that from Joshua to begin with. And considering the things Josh knew about him by now, Ryoji imagined it wasn't that much of a surprise, anyway.]

[... actually, it was... quite a bit of a surprise. To tell the truth, with how suave Ryoji seemed to be, Joshua had figured that he'd at least had some bit of experience with things like this despite his short existence in his home world.

So. He'd taken Ryoji's first kiss, then. An amused little smile crept upon his lips.]

Is that so?

[He shifted, just a little, enough to where his wrists were now braced on Ryoji's shoulders, hands hanging loosely behind them. Only a slight bit awkward because of the minor height difference, but still.]

... if it helps, mine isn't a position where you really get to meet people.

[... draw whatever conclusions from that you wish, Ryoji. But Joshua hadn't had a whole lot of interest in this sort of thing at home, so the two of them were more or less on par with each other.]

[Well, flirting with people was one thing. It was always more of a 'showering people with compliments' rather than actual flirting in his case, anyway. Giving people small pecks on the cheek in order to show affection was also one thing. But anything beyond that?

It might have been a bit weird, considering, but Ryoji actually wasn't the type to go for such things unless... actual feelings had to do with it. On both parties, at that. It kind of... lacked the point otherwise, didn't it?

... Which also, deep inside, made him a bit unsure about all this, still. Because he knew that Josh didn't really feel the same way about him. But he at least found the kissing enjoyable... So what did that even mean? Was it okay to be doing this, all things considered? ...Something like this wouldn't hurt Joshua on the longer run somehow, would it?

Was he worrying too much in regards to all of this? ...He probably was, huh.

Ryoji came back to the here and now the moment Josh shifted a little to make himself more comfortable. And somehow he found to really like the position they were currently in.

The remark, though? It made him pull away his head from the other all of a sudden and open his eyes in the process, as he stared at Joshua, blinking. So basically... Josh didn't have much experience in this kind of thing, either? But surely, he needed to have at least some, considering how old he really was, and how well all of this he was taking, and how he still had a life before he managed to become Composer...

Uhh...]

... Wait, you don't mean to tell me this is all new to you, too...?

[... aww, but he'd been comfortable, Ryoji. Why did you have to move and disrupt that?

Joshua's eyes slid open, content smile slipping into somewhat of a petulant frown. So many questions... Couldn't Ryoji just be quiet for a moment and let him enjoy himself? Though, he supposed this would all come up sooner or later.

... and it wasn't as if it was a big secret or anything. His personal life was his business, sure, but Ryoji already knew so much about him that very few others were privilege to. And if Ryoji hadn't asked him... he likely would have gone to Sanae. Admittedly, if he's going to know, he'd rather tell him himself.]

For the most part.

[Obviously not the kissing. But Ryoji knew about that, all thanks to that event back in February.]

[Sorry, Josh... He definitely wouldn't mind going back to that shortly. He was simply a bit too out of it to keep himself relaxed like that at the moment. And with what you've just said...]

That can't be...

[Now have a disbelieving, slightly apologetic look, Josh. That was a joke, right?]

Surely, during all this time... there needed to be others who had to be all over you, right?

[Because... Josh was so attractive in so many ways, both in character and his looks? And Ryoji was obviously just... one of the few admirers Joshua had? There was no way he could have been the first one here, the sole thought was just absurd.]

...Or is it that you were never interested in anyone else yourself?

[Nobody living up to Joshua's standards all this time? Now Ryoji was kind of getting worried himself...]

[Well, at least it's still somewhat comfortable. For now, though...

Joshua let out a little sigh, closing his eyes again. Really, Ryoji. You sounded so concerned.]

If there has been, I haven't noticed.

[And technically, since he knew everything that went on in his city, he would know. There hadn't been a single person. Though, that was largely in part to his never making a connection with anyone in the first place. The position of Composer was largely a lonely one. But even before then...

Sigh. Would he really have to explain this?]

... no. I've never been particularly interested. My attention has been on other, bigger things.

[For the last century, at least. Though he'd use that as his excuse for the forty years before that, too.]

[So Joshua... never got close to anyone like this before? All of a sudden Ryoji's trail of thought traveled to that kiss which Riku-kun had initiated during one of the events, and how Josh had acted right afterwards. Granted, when Ryoji teased him about it, asking if it was a first for him, he still thought that Joshua was fifteen back at the time, but...

Surprises. Surprises everywhere again.]

I see...

[And Josh... was telling the truth, wasn't he? It's just that for someone like Ryoji... this was something really, really hard to believe. Then again, everybody was different, and everybody had different ways of living. And this was just yet another thing he found in Joshua to be fascinating, in a way.

Truth to be told, just imagining himself in such a position... made Ryoji think that he would die of loneliness, sooner or later. ... Probably a lot more sooner than later, at that.]

... Did you never get lonely?

[Not once. He'd been much too prone to illness in life to be considered for marriage at all. And that plus the lack of truly getting to get out much... well, he hadn't met anyone. And besides, marriages back then were still arranged.

And even then, after he'd died... he'd been a bit busy with his duties as Conductor, and Composer after that. There hadn't really been time. And even if there had been... nothing would have come of it.

Ryoji's second question catches him completely off guard, though. For a moment, Joshua's expression slips into neutrality. And then quickly into a frown again. His eyes shifted off to the side, avoiding eye contact.

This subject... was one he didn't particularly enjoy talking about.]

I had an entire city to keep me company.

[... Those small reactions on Joshua's part managed to tell Ryoji more than that sentence alone did. A sentence that wasn't much of an answer in itself to begin with. ...Was it hard to talk about, Josh?

Thankfully, Ryoji managed to calm down fairly well during all this time by now. Thus, without a word, he was leaning in and wrapping his arms around Josh again, pulling him closer, while delicately placing a small kiss on his cheek.]

I have an entire city to keep me company here as well, and yet I still feel lonely most of the time.

[Their cases varied, of course, but he mostly said it to make a point. ...In other words, your argument was invalid, Josh. But Ryoji already understood, and wouldn't mind if Joshua were not to say anything further in regards to this, either. All he did for now was hold him closer.]

[It's odd to think that, earlier this year, pulling him close and kissing his cheek like that would have made Joshua tense up, possibly even jerk away. But now, he barely even blinked. In fact, he found he was almost glad to be pulled back in.

How he had changed in this last year.]

... I don't see how you could, with so many people talking over the network all the time.

[It was much the same as overhearing everyone's thoughts in Shibuya. The constant presence of other people, without actually being present. ... he understood Ryoji's point, though. He just wasn't really willing to accept it.]

[Now that brought a faint smile to Ryoji's lips. And what he was about to say would probably be the cheesiest thing ever, but... it was still nothing but the truth in his case.]

...But all those people talking over the network aren't a certain blond-haired someone.

[He sounds slightly amused as he says it, though. But then his smile slips the tiniest bit, as Ryoji faintly pulls away from Joshua again. And then he just sounds more and more unsure of himself with each following word.]

Or a silver-haired one someone...

[A pause. A blink.]

...Blond-silver-haired someone...?

[...WHAT WAS EVEN YOUR HAIR COLOR JOSH, BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN HE HAD NO IDEA ANYMORE?!]

[He had almost expected something along those lines. Admittedly, that had been somewhat part of the reason why he had said it in the first place - just to see if Ryoji was as predictable as he thought.

But the comment about his hair...

Sorry, Ryoji, but Joshua couldn't help but laugh. More of a chuckle, really, but a laugh nonetheless. No one had ever questioned his hair color before. He really hasn't thought it was that difficult to tell.]

Ash blond, actually. A blond so pale it nearly looks silver sometimes. You weren't too far off.

[And along with that? You get a very amused little smile.]

Ash blond...

[Was that how this kind of color was called? Well, at least now he knew. And hearing Joshua laugh like that? All of a sudden, Ryoji couldn't help smiling himself, staring at the other boy almost as if he were some kind of fascinating creature. It was kind of amazing, really. How simply seeing the other happy could make him feel so happy himself...

Joshua could most likely feel how the hold on him was suddenly a bit tighter than before. And Ryoji seriously needed to resist the urge to start kissing him all over again... But then something else crossed his mind entirely, distracting him from the thought for the time being. Since they were already talking about hair color, anyway...]

Ah, which reminds me...

[He was mostly being curious, but...]

Both your hair and eye color were different when we've gotten younger during that last event... and you even seemed to be a bit older during it than you are now...

[...Yeah, have an unasked question there, Josh.]

[He could tell. But somehow... it didn't even bother him. Only moments before, a hug had made him tense up. Joshua was honestly surprised at how quickly he'd come to find it somewhat comfortable.

Of course, he'd expected questions about that. So it came as no surprise when Ryoji asked. Humming in thought, he tilted his head just a little bit. He knew how to explain it, but having Ryoji actually understand it...]

My hair and eyes changed color when I became Composer. It's hard to say why... I've always just attributed it to the power of the position.

As for how I looked in general... Mm. It's a bit difficult, honestly. I died shortly after turning nineteen. How you saw me then, I was eighteen. I hadn't even caught the illness yet.

[He glances up at the sky for a moment, measuring how to explain it to where it makes sense.]

I can shift my Frequency to travel between the planes. Basically, in this world, I'm trapped on the equivalent of the RG. [Remember your terminology, Ryoji?] I reside on the UG, though... so, since the RG is at a lower frequency than the UG, traveling to that plane makes me appear a bit younger than normal.

[So Joshua didn't look like this all the time... And for a moment there, Ryoji had to wonder if the other looked the way he looked, simply because he chose to look the way he looked all on his own...

In a sense, that would also make them kind of similar in the whole regard, wouldn't it?]

So originally... you had dark hair and eye color, and you had it for a fair amount of time, too? ...It was probably a bit hard getting used to after you changed at first, huh?

[And what Josh just explained there... Ryoji paused for a moment to try to understand that properly. And the thing that stood out the most for him...]

So you look different whenever you're in the UG?

[And what was that about Frequencies? Did that mean that the lower he shifted with those, the younger he looked? And the higher, the older...?]

[If that's what Ryoji was wondering, he would be partially correct! This form was very similar to how he'd appeared at fifteen when he'd been alive. Different hair and eyes, of course, but regardless. It was... something comfortable.]

My whole life~ And about forty years after it. [A little shrug.] It was a drastic change, but it grew on me fairly quickly.

[But it seemed that Ryoji understood his explanation. Which was good, because he didn't really feel like having the headache he knew would come with trying to explain further.]

That's right. I was capable of it here for a brief time, but that's unfortunately been taken from me.

Well, you looked and look handsome both ways~

[And you honestly didn't expect him to say anything different to this, did you, Josh?]

And oh, were you? ...I can't remember seeing you like that, though. Did you look that much different from the way you look right now?

...Did the Animus take it away from you once they found out that you were able to change, or something?

[The moment Ryoji asked that, his smile faltered altogether, though. Because something didn't add up. Even if the Animus were to overlook that kind of ability at first, they... wouldn't take it away from Josh out of the blue like that sometime afterwards, right? He's never heard of something like that happening for all the time he's been here, at least... And the other still seemed to be able to change into his true form here, so it couldn't have been an issue of being too powerful, could it...

All of a sudden, Ryoji was also remembering how Joshua was actually the one who gave him the idea to go and make that deal with the Animus in the first place...]

...Joshua-senpai, did you make some kind of deal with the Animus yourself?

There you go stroking my ego again~

[Remember what he said about that, Ryoji? Taking responsibility and all?]

It wasn't easily recognizable as being me. If you saw it, it wouldn't surprise me if you didn't recognize it. Though I've got a recording on the PCD, if you're interested.

[... and goodness, Ryoji picked up on that quickly. Joshua had to give him some credit, he was very much smarter than he seemed to be sometimes. Perhaps it was all just a clever ruse. He was silent for a moment, closing his eyes and tilting his head down just a bit.]

I was unable to access the full extent of my abilities when I came here. We were looking for a way out. ... we needed all the help we could get.

[Of course he remembered~ And he was willing to take every single bit of it.]

Ah... [Ryoji was interested, actually. He was interested a whole lot. Or curious, more like it. And it honestly made him wonder whether he's seen it before while simply being unaware of it or not.] ...from when is it, exactly?

[And oh... Ryoji's face expression grew only more concerned and serious when it turned out that it was true, after all. So Joshua pretty much asked them for the ability to change into his UG form? But the Animus apparently gave him a time limit for his side of the deal... Just like in his case...]

...What did they want from you in return?

[Joshua might possibly be up for that challenge~]

From last January, when the city caught on fire. [A little smile, and he opened his eyes.] One of my officers and I decided to stop for a moment and roast marshmallows~

[He had caught hell for it from the rest of the household, too. Well, except for Sanae - he actually knew that it was nothing but a break. But Neku, Beat, Rhyme... they had all assumed he'd been doing nothing but goofing off the entire time.

For just a moment as he considered it, the place on his shoulder where the scar from Teleos' mark remained began to itch, just a little bit. Not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to be noticed. He wasn't moving, though - he was comfortable.]

They wanted us to find a way out that not only we could use, but that they could use as well. ... I'm sure you can guess how far we ended up getting.

Oh... I think I might have been too busy trying to keep our house intact to pay that much attention to the network back then...

[That also included Ryoji saving all the alcohol they had stored at the attic while their roof caught on fire back at the time. The one Morgana had offered to fix with her magic shortly after, too. Granted, that was one hell of a week. Just thinking back to it...]

One of your officers, though? Could you mean that Sho person? [Because that's the only one Ryoji knew about appearing here, anyway.] ...Didn't you mention that you guys weren't on very good terms before?

[And this... was actually the very first time Ryoji heard about the Animus asking for help in regards to anything from anyone. Just trust the amazing person before him to pull something like that off.]

So it was actually more of an alliance than a deal in your case? Meaning that... they didn't take away from you anything besides what they already returned to you beforehand, right?

I sort of figured that might be the case. It's a good thing that these things save such things for us~

[Sorry, Ryoji, but if he's going to show you, he's going to have to pull away. It was done with a little bit of reluctance, though. Ryoji was warm, and Joshua didn't want to leave the comfort of his own little personal heater.

The PCD slid from his pocket, and he began going back through the months of posts to the network. This could take a moment.]

That was him, yes. He does want my position, but surprisingly, his sense of humor is rather impressively similar to mine in a few ways.

[If it weren't for the unfortunate matter of Sho wanting to Erase him, they might even - gasp! - get along.]

More or less, yes. Don't get me wrong - there was a punishment for not being able to hold up our end of the bargain. But nothing more was taken from us than was given in the first place.

[--aha. There it is. Without any hesitation, Joshua cues up the video post, and turns the PCD to where Ryoji can see it.]

[Oh, Josh was intending to show it to him right now? He was definitely looking forward to that! ... Although the moment the other shifted, Ryoji found himself missing the contact and the whole warmth as well. But he wasn't about to stop him, considering they'd have a hard time watching this together otherwise.

And staying shoulder-to-shoulder was also kind of nice. Ryoji just watched as Josh fumbled with the PCD, continuing with his questions in the meantime.]

It was a temporary truce, then?

[A small smile, before - yet again - it faltered the moment the topic of the Animus was brought up further. It was probably no surprise that what Joshua said there made him worried.]

...Punishment? ...What kind of punishment? Also, you've been speaking in plural form this whole time. I imagine Sanae-san was with you on this?

[And then the other found the post, and somehow... all of a sudden, Ryoji got a better idea how to watch it. He just hoped that Josh wouldn't mind too much... and possibly plant an elbow to his gut or something. Or do something even worse that that.

Well, Ryoji supposed he might simply take his chances with this. And with a small sound that was apparently a way of telling Josh to wait, he slipped behind the other. Then, wrapping his arms around Joshua's waist again, he gently pulled him closer. Ryoji lowered his head a bit, too, so that he was more or less on eye-level with Josh while at it.

...Hopefully he wasn't being too forward with this. ... At least it was warm again, right?]

[Shoulder-to-shoulder was at least warmer than standing completely apart. Not to mention, it gave him a bit of freedom to move. That was never a bad thing. After all, this was still very new. As much as he might like the warmth of it... there was a limit, somewhere.]

Something like that, yes.

[Joshua turned his head, glancing up at Ryoji with a slight smile.]

He was. Unfortunately, even with the two of us, we still weren't able to find a way out. [A pause.] The punishment wasn't anything severe. Small annoyances, really. It only lasted a month or two. Food tasting off, limbs unable to work when they need to...

[It hadn't been all that bad, of course. It could have been much worse. Despite a few embarrassing falls while walking through the house and a couple of broken mugs, having a limb suddenly stop responding in mid-use hadn't been so bad, either. At least he hadn't needed to run for his life from anything.

The sound from Ryoji made him hesitate in starting the video. Ryoji had wanted to see this - why was he stopping him?

... and suddenly, those arms were wrapping around his waist from behind and Ryoji what did you think you were doing.

Contact on his own terms was alright. Contact that he agreed with was alright. But somehow, having Ryoji doing this... not to mention just how he was holding him... Joshua tensed up, fingers stilling on the PCD, expression hardening even though Ryoji probably couldn't see very much of it at all.]

What are you doing.

Edited 2012-10-19 00:54 (UTC)

[So it wasn't anything serious. What a relief.

...So Ryoji thought at first, but then he could feel the other getting all tense the moment he's made his move. Only that this time, the whole tension didn't seem to fade. And all of a sudden, Ryoji knew that he's crossed the line this time.

Then there was Joshua's question - which sounded more like a warning than an actual question, considering - and it didn't leave any room for doubt anymore.]

...Uh. ...Trying to make things a bit more comfortable for the both of us?

[And in turn, it was more of a question directed at Josh than an actual answer on his part. Because all of a sudden Ryoji was unsure of what he was even doing himself.

That said, the hold lasted for a mere few seconds more. After that, Ryoji pulled his hands away, giving Josh back the space he clearly needed.

This was another thing, actually. Because as much as Ryoji knew that something like need for 'personal space' existed, and as much he was trying to be considerate of it when it came to other people... Ryoji himself had actually no idea what it felt like to have something like that. It sometimes made him wonder if he even had something like need for personal space to begin with.]

...Sorry. T-That was a bit too forward right now, wasn't it?

[...And back to Joshua's side it was. Although this time, Ryoji found it too hard of a task to turn his head back in the other's direction, never mind the PCD he was holding. And the blush on his face? It was practically spreading past his ears.]

... Feel free to hit me or something if I ever end up trying to do anything uncalled for from now on... alright?

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