the13tharcana | IC contact post for Adstringendum

Well, other than the fact that they're obviously freshly pierced, yes.

[His little smile remains... and very slowly, his hand drops to Ryoji's shoulder, sliding down his upper arm.]

You could say that.

[Quite a few somethings, really. As in everything.

After a moment, that hand is dropping down and resting on Ryoji's hip.]

... I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

Considering you've been gone for barely two days, I might have as well done it while you were still here, so...

[But Joshua seems sure that's not the case. So he needed to remember something...

...Oh. Well, that touch felt somewhat intimate. Was Josh doing that on purpose? Was... wait. Ryoji can't help but blink some more, his gaze suddenly jumping to Joshua's hand on his hip and then back at his face again.

And he just remains there, staring, clearly dumbstruck and unable to speak. Or more like he has no idea what to say, while he's trying his best to figure out if he's understanding all of this right or not.]

[... mm. So, clearly, Ryoji needed a little bit less subtlety here. Everything he's been trying to imply has just sailed right over his head for the most part...

So, rather than say anything else, Joshua just lets out a soft, exasperated breath. And a second later, he's looping his arms loosely around Ryoji's waist, leaning forward to press his forehead against his boyfriend's shoulder. This should convey something, right?]

I remember everything.

[It's not exactly that he didn't notice the implications... it's more like the idea of this being this easy and way too good to be true had a very hard time sinking in in the first place. Ryoji's already set his mind not to get his hopes up with any of this, because that's what he needed to do...

But then Joshua was getting closer, hugging him... Ryoji doesn't move, his eye going wide as he stares at the wall before him. The sole feeling of Joshua's warm body pressing against his makes his vision immediately blurry and he can't even help it.

...Josh wasn't just trying to pull his leg with this, was he? Could it really work like that? Either way, Ryoji was trying his best not to get too overwhelmed with the information, but his hands were already shaking as he reached to place them around Joshua's back, and before he knew it, the rest of him was shaking too, and his voice was broken and he was sobbing--]

Ah... r-really...?

[None of it was making sense. He hasn't shed a single tear ever since Joshua disappeared. He didn't even cry when he came back, with all of his memories gone. Why was he crying now?]

[... well then! Joshua can't really say he wasn't expecting that. After all, with how Ryoji has reacted to particularly emotional things in the past, it's no real surprise. And, he supposes, there's no real stopping it until Ryoji gets it out of his system... so, for now, he'll simply flex his fingers against Ryoji's back and stay as still as possible otherwise.]

Don't make yourself sick.

[It's said in a soft voice, hushed and as comforting as Joshua can muster. There's only so much he can do at this point.]

Really. ... it's like there was a wall around everything, and it's suddenly gone.

I won't--

[Ryoji assures immediately, chuckling into a sob. In all honesty, he wouldn't even mind getting sick from anything right now. Nothing could keep him feeling down on top of all of this anymore.]

...I'm not actually dreaming, am I? ...Would the Animus really make it this easy for us?

[His voice is still choking on his tears, and yet he sounds happy.]

[Joshua would mind, though! While he's used to being sick, he's not used to seeing Ryoji sick, and frankly, he never wants to have to see that.]

If it's a dream, it's a very cruel one. Let's hope it isn't a practical joke.

[Chuckling softly himself, Joshua waits a moment, then pulls away from Ryoji just a little. There's a smile on his face. Usually it's a smirk, or something indicating that either he knows something you don't, or he thinks that he's superior... but this time, it's soft, genuinely hesitant. One hand lifts, cupping Ryoji's cheek, his thumb brushing away some of those tears.]

You cry too much over me.

[Well, luckily for Josh, Ryoji's never actually been sick before, so a little crying probably didn't have much of a chance in changing that.]

I was hoping you'd remember something eventually... because you had your scars, and that meant that it needed to be the you I was familiar with. [And not Pink, or some kind of other Joshua from another dimension entirely.] But even when Souji-san returned, it took him over a month to remember anything... so I tried not to get my hopes up too much.

[The possibility that Josh might have not remembered anything at all was also always there. But now that Ryoji knew that it didn't turn out to be the case... he lets Joshua pull away, giving him a smile of his own. He's still too shaken up to do anything else.]

...I do, don't I? I really need to learn how to handle my emotions better.

[At least he was crying out of happiness, not sadness.]

To be honest, I'm a little surprised that my memories returned so fast myself. [His hand drops back to Ryoji's shoulder, fingers playing in the edge of his scarf.] But, I'm glad that it didn't take so long. I'd feel guilty if I left you suffering.

[There's a little chuckle, and Joshua shakes his head. Ryoji is predictable, even without the need for telepathy. These reactions aren't surprising in the least.]

You wouldn't be you if that we're the case. Change is good, but the world needs more caring hearts like yours.

I suppose we should just accept that something went right for a change.

[Once Joshua's hand drops to his shoulder, his own reaches out to it, gently pressing against it. But it wasn't meant to distract; Ryoji was quite fond of Josh playing with his scarf like that.]

I'd be happy by simply being able to stay by your side, whether you'd remember anything or not... so I wouldn't exactly call it suffering. Though this kind of bonus is definitely nice.

[He smiles, a little hesitantly.]

You think I have a caring heart? [Not that it's hard to believe, it's just the first time Josh says something like that to him.] So it's okay if I'm a little overemotional?

It's a one in a million chance, in this place.

[Ryoji's hand is on his? Then he'll happily capture those fingers between his own, giving them a gentle squeeze.]

Mm, knowing you, I'm sure it would still be suffering nonetheless.

[Because he knows how used to everything Ryoji has become by now. Especially certain areas where simply being close to Joshua wouldn't be enough. At the question, though, he simply smiles, tipping his head a slight bit.]

I think I'm used to you being overemotional by now. It would feel strange otherwise.

Clearly we're the luckiest people in the whole city.

[He's definitely not complaining there! With a huge smile, Ryoji will go ahead and return the gesture, a little blush already creeping up to his cheeks. Would there ever be a day when he'd get used to this completely?]

Alright, I admit... I've gotten used to being so close to you after all this time. I'd probably start missing some physical aspects of it eventually.

[Which was probably no surprise at this point. Both of them knew how things usually ended up when they didn't do anything for weeks because of events and whatnot. Ryoji would always proudly blame his human side for it.

At Joshua's last words, Ryoji doesn't say anything anymore - he just smiles before leaning in, gently pressing his lips against the other's. Joshua wasn't joking about getting his memories back, right? He wouldn't get slapped in the face for suddenly being so forward, would he?]

Edited 2014-03-14 23:24 (UTC)

I wonder how two people like us managed something like that.

[That blush gets a twist of Joshua's smile, turning into something much more mischievous and playful. Oh, he knows exactly the influence he has here, and he's definitely not above using it.]

Only some aspects, mm?

[Come on, Ryoji, he knows you better than that. But who would he be not to tease? And hey, it isn't as if he hasn't come to enjoy those things, too.

At least when Ryoji moves in, Joshua is already leaning forward somewhat from the teasing. And he's definitely not about to react badly to this. In fact, he ends up making the press just a bit more firm, humming happily into it. Does that answer your question, Ryoji?]

I'm sure it was fate!

[Yes, Ryoji still believes something like that exists, and he'll forever be the biggest sap in the universe.]

Well... a lot of them.

[As in all of them. He knows Joshua is just trying to tease him with this - and yet, that stare of his is only making him blush more. ... Ah, but the kiss is welcome, at least, and Ryoji can't help but smile into it, very content with the whole gesture. He was already set on the idea that he wouldn't be able to do this anytime soon again, so... actually doing it feels really, really nice.]

Maybe. Who knows?

[Honestly, he's not about to rebuke Ryoji for still believing in fate. It's something he's grown fond of, actually. It's just something that fits Ryoji through and through.]

That's more like it.

[There's a little chuckle against Ryoji's lips, but it's quickly muffled into the kiss. It feels like he's been away for a long time, and it's incredibly satisfying, just feeling that warmth. He doesn't let the kiss go for long, though, breaking away and smirking up at his boyfriend.]

Miss me?

[Ryoji appreciates that Joshua doesn't try to burst his bubble there. And he doesn't mind the kiss being so brief. It's enough to get the message across for now, and he's pretty satisfied with it being so gentle.]

I usually start missing you after a few seconds of not seeing you, so... what do you think?

[In case Joshua had any doubts in that regard - yes, it's been over a year of them being together and Ryoji still had it so bad. He simply returns the smile, reaching up to pull a few loose strands of hair behind Joshua's ear in a caring gesture.]

Did you get to go back home?

I knew the answer before you even replied.

[The smirk turns into a softer smile at that, head tilting just the slightest bit. Joshua knows that Ryoji has it bad - he's always had it bad - but it doesn't mean he's above asking anyway.

That question, though... For a moment, as Ryoji is tucking that hair behind Joshua's ear, there's a brief flicker of something in his eyes. Something like... anguish. Despair. But it's only there for just a split second. In the meantime, his smile fades, and his eyes glance away.]

I did.

[Considering how intently Ryoji was staring into Joshua's eyes right now, it was impossible for that change in mood to slip past him unnoticed - and as soon as Joshua stops smiling, it's like a chain reaction. Ryoji's own smile falters, because he immediately knows that something's wrong.

But without being aware what actually happened, he interprets it the only way he can. Joshua should have been happy to be finally back home. Coming back here again, after having that... it must be depressing for him. Realizing that, Ryoji can only feel guilty for actually being happy that he's back.]

...I'm sorry.

[Something is wrong, all right. But it's not quite what Ryoji is suspecting. Not that he's really reading Ryoji's thoughts at the moment, but he's sure he probably doesn't exactly remember that conversation from the dorm buildings event right off the top of his head.]

... do you remember what I spoke about with Sora-kun?

[Quiet, subdued.]

[What Joshua spoke about with Sora-kun? He spoke about a lot of things, he's sure, but... ah...]

...about Shibuya?

[About Shibuya falling into darkness? Did it... actually happen?]

[So he does remember. Joshua is quiet for just a moment, hand moving to his side, fingers lightly gripping into his shirt.]

... everything seemed okay when I went back. I didn't remember this place, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But a couple of days after that...

[... he's been trying to put off thinking about this. He really has.]

[So Joshua went back and forgot all about this place, just like everyone else who experienced it. Meanwhile Ryoji does remember bits and pieces, and probably the most important, unpleasant part of it all...]

The thing with... the heart of the city and the darkness happened?

[He wishes saying it out loud wouldn't be too hurtful in case it was true, but... Josh could probably use someone to talk to about it right now, all things considered.]

[It's frightening, knowing for certain that he won't remember this place upon returning. He wouldn't be concerned about it, though, if it weren't for the memories of Ryoji. He... doesn't want to forget those.]

No one survived. Reapers and humans alike. Nothing we could do would keep them down. And they were coming for me.

I... managed to hold on to Neku's soul, and the souls of his friends. I was trying to escape, to find a place that was safe... and I ended up coming here instead. But it doesn't appear that I managed to bring them along with me.

[Whether that means he'd lost his hold on them, or if he'd simply been pulled back here from just before he managed to find solace... he's not entirely sure.]

Joshua...

[Ryoji's voice is quiet; he doesn't know what to say. Hearing all of that is more than disheartening. Even more so that he can relate to having one's world destroyed.]

I'm so sorry to hear that...

[All Ryoji can do is hold Josh close and hope that can bring even a little bit of comfort.]

A lot of people disappeared and then reappeared after the ritual... so maybe you simply got dragged back here with the Animus' power again. Sora-kun said that you were supposed to appear in that town where you meet up with him after the whole thing, right?

That's what he mentioned. Neku-kun, too, and Riku-kun. They all knew.

[Joshua accepts being held closer like that, but suddenly, he feels much too exhausted to even consider embracing back.]

... Shibuya is gone. I'm not sure how I can still be the Composer of a city that doesn't exist.

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