the13tharcana | IC contact post for Adstringendum

[... good. Being wary of Ryoji's motives was not what he came here for. No, he had slightly bigger business for this meeting...

Tilting his head a little, Joshua kept the rather serious expression, even if it ended up being a little thoughtful in the process.]

Come closer.

[...This wasn't a trap, was it? Josh isn't going to attack him in return the moment he gets close with his guard down like this, will he?

Somehow Ryoji can't help those kind of thoughts, but at the same time he doesn't find himself to mind, even if they would turn out not to be misplaced. Thus he moves forward, and stops when he's just a mere step away from the other.

Then there was also the other thing that was nagging at the back of his mind, but... asking if Joshua thought about it wasn't really necessary, was it? He could read his mind, after all, and what were the odds of him not doing it at the moment? So all Josh was getting was an expectant stare.]

[Of course it isn't a trap. Joshua very well could dish out a bit of payback, but... well, it's not really what he's here to do. Though it is tempting...

Only a step away, though. That's good. Joshua lets a little smile turn the corners of his lips, and he tilts his head, staying right where he is.]

You're right. Not necessary at all. You're getting good at this, Ryoji-kun.

[It's kind of cute, really. He would laugh if it wouldn't upset the more serious mood of things.]

I did have a chance to think about it, actually.

[So he was right. But don't flatter him like that, Josh... he'll blush.]

I guess spending so much time with you does that to a person...

[And really, their meetings were becoming more and more frequent as of late, weren't they? ...Scratch a couple of events along the way, yes.]

...So did you come to some kind of conclusion in regards to it yet?

[Ryoji imagined Joshua wouldn't have called him out here otherwise. But then again, he might be wrong. And truth to be told, the way Josh seemed to be fairly composed and sure of himself ever since they met today was a bit... confusing, perhaps. He had no idea if Joshua being that way was actually a good thing or not. Nor had he an idea what to expect from it all, considering.]

[He pays compliments where they're due~]

There are worse habits you could pick up from me, I suppose.

[Joshua actually likes how frequent their meetings have been becoming. He's never really disliked spending time with Ryoji, but now... Somehow, Joshua has grown rather fond of him. Ryoji has become someone important. Almost like he couldn't imagine this place without Ryoji in it.]

... mm, I have, actually.

[It all comes down to this. The week of hesitation, of really thinking this over... Somehow, it almost feels like the same rush he'd felt before he and Sanae had taken on Edo's corrupt Composer. An ultimate feeling of excitement, of plunging head first into something you aren't entirely sure will succeed but damn it all if you aren't trying anyway.

Without a word, without any warning, Joshua takes that step closer, lifting his hand to cup Ryoji's cheek as he carefully presses their lips together.

It's chaste, and it doesn't last too long at all - a handful of seconds at the most. But when Joshua pulls away, he's smiling, a little amused simply for the fact that Ryoji's reaction to this has to be giggle-worthy.]

I came to the conclusion that it's rather rude to make me finish what you started.

[Worse habits, huh. Ryoji was on the verge of asking about it - in a teasing kind of way, even - just what it was that Josh had possibly in mind there-- but then the other moved forward... and it pretty much left him speechless on the spot.

He couldn't deny thinking about a lot of case scenarios in this past week, and how nice it would be for something like this to actually happen, true, but... seeing it happening for real? Josh honestly did just kiss him all on his own, and he didn't even seem to be averse to the whole thing anymore, and... it pretty much left Ryoji standing there, wide-eyed, the moment Joshua pulled away. Wide-eyed and beet-red, because oh God you were doing it to him again, Josh, and he really couldn't help that rush of heat in his cheeks no matter how hard he tried.

Then there was a moment of silence before Joshua's words sank in, and Ryoji let out a shaky, almost hysterical-sounding chuckle, as if he couldn't believe what just happened himself. This definitely wasn't an answer he was expecting, and wasn't that actually another attempt at trying to avoid his question again? ...Then again, that kiss alone was enough of an answer in itself, Ryoji supposed, even though... all it did was confuse him all the more so far.

Not. What he was. Expecting. ... Another point for you on the surprise department, Josh. Ryoji can't help but smile a little at that thought, though.]

...Perhaps I should try being rude more often it if manages to work small wonders like that.

[... and there was the reaction. Very close to what Joshua had expected, except with a considerable lack of sputtering. Nonetheless, it got a soft chuckle from Joshua, who tilted his head, the amusement clear in his eyes.]

Shirking your good manners just to get things out of me? How crude, Ryoji-kun~

[Not that Joshua minded. Obviously not.]

Though I have to say, you seem to be taking this better than the first time...

[...Josh, your remarks weren't helping in making him feel less embarrassed in the slightest. But he'd be damned if it stopped him.]

Well... if it turned out you were into that kind of thing...

[He was just joking with that, obviously~ ... But then again, people did say that lies always held some kind of truth in them, didn't they? And if something like that would indeed make Josh happier... well, there weren't really a lot of things Ryoji wouldn't do for him. Someone might keep that thought in mind...]

As do you. [Though in Joshua's case it was more of a 'last time' than 'first time,' considering.] To tell you the truth, I didn't expect you to be in such a cheerful mood while calling me out here. Things aren't as scary anymore, are they?

[The comment made Joshua pause for a moment. But after a second or two, he simply chuckled, lifting one hand to tap his fingers against his lips.]

Fortunately for you, I'm used to taking the lead~

[You want to play, Ryoji? He can play right back.]

I suppose I've finally gotten used to the temperature of the water.

[... Seriously, nothing seemed to be stopping Joshua today, did it? And where Ryoji's imagination had taken him for a second there despite himself would definitely make him blush, had he not been all red already.

And all of a sudden, he found himself resisting the urge to do something in order to just get back at the other. Something uncalled for, perhaps, because what were the odds...]

...You know, if you keep on saying things like that, it might honestly give me the wrong idea.

[And did you want that to happen, Josh? Because try as he may, Ryoji failed to tell if you were actually serious with those remarks or not. ... He kind of wished it didn't confuse him this much.]

[Of course not! He's slowly been growing used to Ryoji's method of playing. Was it really out of the question for him to start pushing back?

... and thankfully, Joshua wasn't scanning Ryoji's thoughts at the moment. He may have been in for quite the surprise. And not necessarily a pleasant one.]

Mm, and here I thought I was fairly certain in the idea I wanted to give.

[Don't worry, Ryoji. He knew what he was doing. He wouldn't have said it if he weren't~]

[Believe it or not, Josh, but that actually... makes Ryoji's smile falter. At first, at least, when it occurs to him that this really isn't just another silly game they'e ended up playing (yet again). Not all of it, at least.

Joshua was actually... serious. He wasn't backing down from his words this time, and he pretty much admitted that this doesn't bother him anymore. He knew about Ryoji's feelings for him, and he didn't seem to mind. What's more, if Ryoji were to take Joshua's last words from the event into consideration, together with his answer right now... did it mean that the other found the whole kissing thing enjoyable, after all?

Did Josh...]

[Slowly, Ryoji's lips curl upwards again. Should he really be worrying about all this so much anymore?]

If that's the case, then...

[Next thing Ryoji does is take half a step forward - shortening the bit of distance the two had between them this time again. But instead of doing anything, he just lifts his hand a bit and extends it towards the other, almost as if expecting for Josh to do the same and take it.]

[To be quite honest, seeing Ryoji's expression fall like that was... not what Joshua expected at all. For a moment, he looked downright somber, and it threw him off just a slight bit.

But seeing the smile slowly return back in place... Well, maybe it had just been a moment of surprise after all.

And the offering of Ryoji's hand was even more surprising. Joshua's own smile slipped a bit, and he stared down at Ryoji's palm for a moment, very obviously hesitating. The thought of seeing just what he was up to crossed his mind for a moment, but he shook it off. It was just his hand. He hadn't held hands with anyone since... well, since he was very, very young. It wasn't something necessarily familiar.

But it wasn't all bad, either.

The smile never quite came back, and, mildly perplexed, Joshua carefully took Ryoji's hand, glancing up at him questioningly without saying a word.]

[Ryoji could see that Joshua was hesitant... and probably suspicious about his intentions as well. And he supposed that all he could do was hope that this wouldn't scare him off. But if kissing didn't, then why should something like this be any different?

The faint smile and genuine expression on his face remained like it had been all the while when Josh decided to reach out to him. Almost as if he was expecting it all along. And then, the next moment, Ryoji's hold on on the other's hand tightened just slightly, and he was pulling Joshua close towards himself. With the small step he's taken, he's practically met him half-way and closed the distance between them completely.

Ryoji's movements were fairly swift, but also careful at the same time. And the next thing Josh could probably feel was a pair of hands enclosing around his shoulders, with a cheek pressed to the side of his head. The gesture wasn't all that firm, though. If Josh showed any signs of wanting to pull away, Ryoji most likely wouldn't stop him.]

[Of course Joshua was suspicious. When wasn't he suspicious about something Ryoji was about to do? Especially nowadays, even if what ended up happening wasn't quite as shocking anymore.

The gentle tug caught Joshua off guard, and with a quick intake of breath, he stepped forward to avoid losing his balance. He hadn't expected Ryoji to pull him like that. At all.

And then, there were arms around him.

It wasn't even a firm sort of hug. It was soft and incredibly gentle, like he was made of hollow glass and Ryoji was afraid of breaking him. Joshua tensed up for a moment, eyes widening, not moving at all. Physical contact without his consent was something that Joshua wasn't comfortable with to begin with, but...

But this was hardly uncomfortable. The only thing uncomfortable about it was the sudden memory that practically slammed into him because of it. Because the last person that had held him had been his mother, just before he had died. And she had held him in much the same way as this.

It was... comforting. But at the same time, it made his heart clench in a way he thought it was no longer capable of.

... a moment of hesitation went by, and very carefully - not to mention awkwardly - Joshua's hands lifted, palms pressing lightly against Ryoji's back. He... had no idea how else to react, honestly. Remaining still wasn't a good option, and he didn't particularly want to push Ryoji away. So, it was all that was left.]

[Well... Ryoji wasn't aware what was going through Joshua's mind at the moment, unfortunately. But at least he wasn't pulling away, no matter how hesitant he still seemed to be in regards to all of this. And the moment Ryoji felt a pair of hands embracing him back the faintest bit, he let himself relax into the hug a whole lot more. Soon, his hold on the other became more firm, as Ryoji started to concentrate more on the feeling itself rather than whether it would make Joshua comfortable or not.

It felt warm. And really pleasant. And... He wasn't really sure how to describe it otherwise, because the feeling itself was so wonderful that it was impossible for him do put it into words alone. Come to think of it, he's wanted to do this for so long... Actually being able to almost felt like a dream come true. He honestly couldn't help but think that he could stay forever like this, if Josh would only let him. As silly as that was.

Ryoji didn't even notice when he's closed his eyes, nor when his smile widened like it did. Not that Josh could see it, but... He let it stay that way. And before he knew it, he was tilting his head a bit, nuzzling the other's hair in the process, just in order to be able to whisper in his ear more properly.]

...You smell nice.

[The sudden firming of those arms around his shoulders made Joshua's hesitation a bit less. The fact that the hug was no longer as gentle gave way for more logical, rational thought, pushing those memories aside. The feeling of sentiment had already partially passed.

... not that it wasn't still sort of nice. Once he could get over the sudden desire to squirm and get away from physical touch, it was fairly pleasant. He hadn't really realized how warm another person could be... Or rather, he couldn't remember it. But it was... nice enough.

Joshua did tense just a little out of habit as Ryoji pressed his nose into his hair, and the sudden breath on his ear made him close his eyes for a second, pulling a face. Okay. That was a little too close, even with the kiss before and the hug now. Not that he could exactly move away...]

I should hope so.

[Now that earns you a short laugh, Josh. And somehow all Ryoji can think is 'never change, Joshua-senpai. Never change' while pressing his cheek back to the other's side of the head like before. He doesn't loosen his grip just yet, though. Joshua doesn't seem to mind this all that much, and Ryoji simply wants it to last a little longer...]

I've wanted to do this for so long...

[Well. He felt like saying it out loud for some reason. Even though he had an idea that the other was aware of it already, anyway.

Now don't let it startle you, Josh, but one of Ryoji's hands was shifting along your shoulder and moving up to the back of your head this time. Gently, Ryoji started to play with a few strands of hair there, while faintly opening his eyes in the process.]

...It's not as scary either, is it?

[Yes, well. At least Ryoji wasn't breathing on his ear anymore. That was enough of an accomplishment. Enough to make Joshua a little more comfortable with this all again.

He isn't surprised in the least that Ryoji has wanted to do this. Ever since Ryoji's confession to him, he hasn't truly been surprised by any of it. Surprised by the timing of certain acts, perhaps, or the fact that Ryoji would attempt them at all, but not the acts themselves, deep down.

... Ryoji's hand playing with his hair, though. That's a little surprising. If only because that, too, comes with its own share of memories. Yet another thing his mother used to do. Another comforting thing...

Joshua's eyes slipped closed, hands tensing just slightly on Ryoji's back, but only for a second.]

... why me? Out of all the people here...

[... he doesn't deserve anything like this.]

[Well, that wasn't really a question he's been expecting to hear at the moment. But it makes him smile, nevertheless. Because out of all the questions Joshua could have asked him, this was one he didn't even need to think before giving an answer to.]

Does it make you wonder?

[Ryoji pauses, if only to make the question linger in the air for a bit.]

I could say a lot of things to that, actually. Starting with what a wonderful person you are - but you've heard all about that from me once already, didn't you? - or how you've saved my life practically twice by now, and made it possible for me to become happy in a place like this...

[With that, Ryoji shifts, his hands retreating... and the next moment, he slowly pulls away. Just enough to be able to look at Josh in the eyes again, that small smile still present on his lips.]

But that's not all to it. If I were to keep it more blunt and simple...

[There's another pause as he reaches for one of Joshua's hands on his own this time, but he doesn't really take it. It's just fingers pulling against fingers, delicately, his thumb brushing against the soft skin on occasion. Something like this would have been probably hard to admit to for anyone else, but Ryoji doesn't seem to have that much problem with it. Still a bit embarrassing, sure... but he's not scared in admitting these kind of things. They are the truth, anyway.]

...I'd say that you're simply the only one there is for me. You're the only one that I want, Joshua-senpai. And the one person who's happiness matters most to me.

If I could turn back time and choose someone else I could fall in love with... Believe it or not, I'd still choose you all over again.

[Sorry for dropping all of this on you like that, Josh... but you asked.]

[Ryoji moving away suddenly made Joshua realize how cool the air was becoming already. He let out a little breath, suppressing a slight shiver, and opened his eyes.

Ryoji somewhat taking his hand was... also kind of nice. Strange, but nice. All of this was strange, really, but the fact that someone was being so gentle with him... The fact that he was allowing any of this...

But those words... Keeping eye contact was suddenly incredibly difficult. Joshua's eyes quickly shifted down to the ground beside them, expression shifting into a slight frown. Ryoji... cared. It was absolutely genuine, no question about it. Ryoji wasn't the type to flatter someone if it weren't the truth.

And this... was pretty flattering, all things considered. There were different kinds of caring that one person could feel for another, but this specific type... No one had ever cared about him like this.

Joshua let out a short, sharp, slightly disbelieving breath, and lifted his free hand to lightly rest on his chest, expression still utterly somber, very slightly confused. What did you even say to something like that...? He was, for once, at a total loss.]

... ah.

[Ryoji could have interpreted that silence in a lot of ways. But somehow, this time, he could tell that Joshua wasn't taken aback by it all because he didn't like it. He seemed to be at a loss of words simply because he wasn't sure what to say to a confession like that.

He was being a bit too straightforward, then, perhaps. But all of it was the truth, and this wasn't something Ryoji could ever joke about.

For a moment there, he felt like letting out a chuckle just to cheer up the mood and ask Joshua if there was anything he wasn't clear with, or whether there was anything the other still wanted him to explain. But making it go in such a direction... wasn't really what he wanted to happen.

So all Ryoji does is smile. It's a big, cheerful smile, and he looks genuinely happy when he stares at the other boy. And all he can think - and hope that Josh catches it - is that it's okay not to say anything.]

[It took a moment for Joshua to be able to look back up at Ryoji again. To be quite honest, he still wasn't quite sure how to react to all of that. A normal person would be blushing and sputtering right now, probably. But that just wasn't Joshua.

When his eyes finally did shift up from the ground, he was met with a broad, sincere smile. And... honestly, that expression could only be at home on Ryoji. And, likely, only aimed towards him. And he didn't mind that at all.

He understood. That it was okay, that he didn't really need to say anything... but his pride wouldn't really allow any more of this awkward silence. So, Joshua smiled in return, a soft, slight thing. The hand that had been at his chest lowered just a bit, then reached out to lightly touch Ryoji's arm.]

You're too kind to me. You're going to end up spoiling me, you know.

[Oh, oh... Josh was smiling back at him. And it didn't really matter how big of a smile that was, because it was a smile nevertheless and... Ryoji seriously felt like melting on the spot right here, right now, just from that small gesture alone.

Just thinking back to their whole meeting here... Together with all the feelings that were running rampant inside of him... All of a sudden Ryoji had to suppress tears that were threatening to well up in his eyes because of it all. And he promised Jun not to think this way anymore, but he seriously felt so happy he could die at the moment.

Excuse him while he resisted the urge to hug you again, Josh...]

Would that be such a bad thing?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2 /o/

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject