the13tharcana | IC contact post for Adstringendum

[Of course he could be negative here, but he's trying a little to get away from that.]

Perhaps he might not understand it first, but if he really cares for you he should be able to accept you for what you are, no matter what you are.

[Though that statement confuses him a little bit.]

Things you didn't know about yourself before?

I guess all I can do is hope... and be prepared for the worst once it gets down to it.

[He appreciated Okita trying to be positive, though. It even made him smile a bit. It was actually kind of weird, how he was the one trying to cheer him up and not the other way around.]

...It might have to do with Minako-chan. You know... the girl the Animus made me forget about as part of my deal? She was...

[His smile faltered there, because... he wasn't even sure what to think about any of this himself.]

She was probably important to me in the same way Joshua-senpai is important to me right now.

For the worst, huh? Well, I guess it's better as if you were unprepared. If they really care about you, you won't have to fear too much.

[Since Chizuru told him as well - it didn't matter what he was. He was he, and that was all that seemed to be important to her.]

Oh yes, I do remember her.

[It seemed as if Ryoji had already a suspicion and that was confirmed just a while later.]

You loved her?

Part of it is my fault, too, I suppose. Had I told them the truth on my own accord earlier, I guess... things wouldn't be as hard now. It was foolish of me to think I could keep it a secret forever, in a place like this. But there's not much I can do about it now.

[Yeah, he had to be optimistic in regards to this as well. Even if things would turn out to be difficult at first... giving it time would probably help on the longer run, too.

And that... was a difficult question, Okita. Have a troubled-looking Ryoji, there.]

...Possibly.

[Though it might have been a bit more complicated than just that... But Ryoji honestly wasn't even sure where to begin explaining this.]

Well, I haven't told Jun anything about me being a rasetsu either, but he had no problem to still trust me.

[Well, as much as 'no problem' was with Jun, really. He would say the same about Ami, but... she hadn't really come to accept it so she was a bad example.]

Do you think that is troublesome?

That's true. But Jun-kun was one of a kind, wasn't he? You both were one of a kind...

[He can't help the slightly nostalgic smile, there.]

I imagine things could get complicated if she were to appear here... But finding out that I used to love someone else in the past won't make my feelings for Joshua-senpai change. I'll make sure that he understands that.

He really was, yes. [He was comfortable to talk to, he didn't mind that both Ryoji and Souji were probably not the sanest people to live with. Even though he was sad most of the time, it was nice to see him smile and get flustered. And he has asked Souji just to call him by his first name, without honorific.]

Are you in the position of saying that? You are one of a kind as well.

[Though Souji smiles a little at those words.]

Building up feelings in other worlds... they are just as true as the ones we have in our world, aren't they? I guess as long as you confirm them, he'll be fine.

I guess our whole household was a bit special... in a weird but good kind of way.

[Have a soft chuckle there, Okita.]

And yes, everything that happens here isn't any less true from the things happening back in our home worlds, is it? Besides... this place became my home long ago by now. I don't really have that much tying me to the place I came from anymore, to be honest.

[And he says like he means it.]

But enough about me! How are things going by your side, Souji-san?

It really was.

[Souji hadn't expected a place where he would feel so at home again. Or even... that he fit in there more well than he had felt before. What a strange thought. Though they were a group of strange misfits, even more than the shinsengumi.]

Somehow it isn't. And I guess it's really not surprising if it has become your home.

[Ryoji didn't have the brightest future in his own world, after all. This was kind of the only place where he could stay as him.]

About my side... I got sent to another place with different memories. It's a strange place where we have to have sex at least every two weeks or else we'll die. Though I must say the Goddess who is responsible for that place has humor. A lot of my comrades got sent there as well.

I think so, too.

[Ryoji just nodded to that, smiling. But as he listened to Okita explain, his expression gave way to surprise.]

So you weren't sent back to your home world?

[He got sent to a different kind of world entirely? ...So one didn't necessarily have to go back home after disappearing from here? And... this was a good thing, right? Didn't this mean that Okita was still alive?]

Wait... you need to have sex with someone in order to keep on living?

[Was he hearing right?]

Kind of, but not really?

[All of this didn't make much sense to him as well, but before he starts thinking about things he can't understand one way or the other, he'll just stop thinking over it altogether.]

Yeah, great survival terms, huh? It might have helped you with your little problem.

[He grins a little.]

I guess I was a little lucky since one of my comrades is working very hard to keep us all alive.

...my little problem?

[Wait, did Okita mean... Josh? But-- that-- ... Oh man, he was blushing now, wasn't he? ... Where did this whole conversation even go all of a sudden?]

... I was about to say that you needed to be lucky with the ladies there, but... one person keeping you all...?

[And Souji explained it all as if it were no big deal... was it seriously no big deal?]

Yes, your little problem.

[You got it right, Ryoji. Souji can assume as much with Ryoji blushing like this.]

I guess I ended up being pretty exlusive to this guy. And yeah, as long as they didn't find someone else, he's helping them.

[Well, it was probably a bigger deal than what Souji tried to make it out to be.]

I think it would just make things worse, Souji-san. Forcing anyone to do that kind of thing with you...

[Then again if both of their lives depended on it... now he was actually getting curious how negotiating with Josh would look like under circumstances such as those. ... Wait, why was he even thinking about this...]

... Oh, okay, that... needs to be a bit weird, I imagine. I mean... uh, do you at least like the person you're with?

[Wow, why was this so embarrassing to talk about? This didn't even involve him... or maybe it's because that it didn't involve him that it was so hard.]

Do you guys need to go all the way there? ...or how does that even count?

Well, the first few times I did it, I just thought of it as another sparring session.

[Just another thing people did to survive, even if the thought was weird at first - even for him.]

You'll just have to ask if they are willing to help you to survive.

[Souji averts his eyes a little at the question. It's probably - or rather very likely, extremely unusual for him as a small blush crosses his cheeks.]

I do.

[This was really hard to talk about, and a part of him is sad that Ryoji doesn't even know Saitou or the other way round, he'd like people of his kind of surrogate-families to know each other.]

Yes, pretty much, or else it won't help too much - or so I've heard.

[This almost sounded like something Lily would say...]

That kind of... sounds like you, actually. Can't say it's a bad way of trying to cope with things if... well, you're not exactly looking forward to that kind of stuff.

[Otherwise it won't help much? Seriously what kind of a place was that... if he'd appear there without actually knowing anyone, like he did here, Ryoji imagined he'd freak out pretty fast.]

You probably get used to it after a while, huh...

[And oh, the blush definitely didn't go unnoticed. So Okita did like someone. Ryoji smiled, evidently happy with the information.]

I'm happy for you, Souji-san.

It wasn't the first thing I expected to have to do when I arrive in a foreign world.

[From the initial little shock, it just became one thing he had to do roughly all 10 days or something before the collar became too uncomfortable to breath normally.]

Yes, when it belongs to surviving. Do you want to try it out, Ryoji-kun~?

[He does, very much even. Souji's expression softens to a smile.]

Thank you. A part of me still believes that is kind of an illusion, and it was certainly not easy getting there, but... for now I don't mind being trapped in this illusion. Since...

Can't blame you there, in all honesty...

[Because seriously, who in their sane mind would?]

... Even if you ask me that...

[...Okita was just teasing him again, wasn't he?]

Are you asking yourself whether it's an illusion because it's so hard to believe in the sense that it's too good to be true? [A small pause.] Since...?

Seems you wouldn't expect it as well, huh?

[True. Nobody would, but that made it more believable if somebody told you that.]

You don't know the answer?

[He was, mostly. He just can't change that trait of his.]

Yes, just like that. I should just get used to the fact that you know me too well by now, huh? [There's another flustered smile.]

Since... since he said I'm enough for him and that he doesn't need more. Even though... well, you know my state of health. And for him being a sword and fulfilling his duty is as important as it is to me, usually, but he still chose to risk all of that for me.

I'm pretty sure nobody in their sane mind would, Souji-san.

[There's a soft chuckle to that.]

Well... even if I said 'yes' it would still be just rhetorical, wouldn't it?

[Because it's not like... uh, well... Okita, you were making him blush again.]

It's just that I know all too well how that feels like, haha.

[How many times did he try pinching himself by now, while spending time with Josh, because he couldn't believe things were actually happening?]

But yes, that's probably also part of the reason I could tell right away.

And oh dear, Souji-san~ That sounds really romantic of him! He must really care for you a whole lot if he told you something like that. Now I'm actually curious what kind of person your special someone is.

I wonder what the insane ones do then...

[Actually, that would be really interesting.]

Well, you'd probably one of the people I'd least mind to do it with, even without a curse.

[Man, that was awkward to say like that, but it wasn't even untrue. Ryoji had grown unexpected close to him and he would be a far better choice than some of the things that happened. Like Yukimura. At least he liked Ryoji. Or perhaps that was not even a fitting enough description - he liked Ryoji a lot.]

Oh, is that what you are feeling with him, huh?

[Well, back then the whole business with Joshua had been too abstract to really understand what Ryoji was feeling, except that it did do changes that Souji were able to notice.]

I guess so.

[He chuckles himself at that.]

I'd hope so. [After all, Saitou also had told him that he loves him, so.] What kind of person he is... he's silent, he's a sword-idiot, he worships the ground Hijikata-san walks on and he can't tell a joke even if he tries to or even express himself properly. He's strong, he's very gentle, I guess you could say reasonable, selfless - [Souji's still proud here that Saitou gets selfish when it's about him.] and I think he's really cute from time to time. I might have mentioned him when we talked. His name is Saitou Hajime.

Who knows...

[Okita's next words actually made him blink, his eyes widening a bit.]

Ah... do you really mean that?

[He somehow... didn't expect that kind of response. And he had no idea if it was wrong of him to feel flattered because of it, but... he kind of was. And now he couldn't stop that faint blush from spreading further, evidently becoming something way more intense.]

Yes... more times than not. It's probably because Joshua-senpai wasn't interested at all, at first. And I suppose I got stuck on the idea so much that it's just hard to believe that things changed sometimes...

[As Okita went on, Ryoji's smile only widened, and he listened intently all the way to the end.]

Saitou-san, huh. He does sound like an interesting person. And the way you talk about him really shows how much he means to you, Souji-san.

[Ryoji only counted to the weird ones, so his reaction might be still normal here.]

Yes, why not? You've kept sleeping in and under my bed anyways. The difference won't be all too huge.

[~~And then they kept wondering why people got the wrong impression.~~ Well, okay, it probably still was. Though the words he had spoken were true and he wasn't going to take that back. After all, Ryoji had given him a home in Adstringendum, had taken him in despite the things Souji had said at first, had accepted him and his borked sense of morality, not even being a rasetsu had fazed the boy all too much.

Though considering he was the one who was supposed to bring the end of the world, being a rasetsu might seem like the comparable smaller issue.

And Souji is amused to make Ryoji blush like that.]

Ah, I guess I understand that feeling very well now.

[Souji nods.]

Mhm. Though I guess I've made some stupid moves there. When I started this relationship, I was very well aware of the fact that he liked someone else. And then I kinda kept trying to kill a person he saw as a friend.

[There's another amused chuckle.]

Though now that I think of it, he keeps wearing a scarf, just like you. I wonder if that is connected.

Not for you, maybe...

[That actually makes him chuckle, even though it's somewhat nervous. As if to fix that, his next words come out sounding more teasing.]

You might want to be careful with that kind of thing, Souji-san... What if you made me fall for you?

[And another chuckle there.]

But I'm flattered that you wouldn't mind.

[And well, Okita didn't seem awkward with this. No reason for him to be awkward with it, either, right? It's not like any of this would...]

That... also sounds a lot like you. [This probably shouldn't even be so amusing, considering, and yet...] So it turned out that you were jealous over nothing?

[At the last part, Ryoji actually perks up and laughs, amused.]

Does he? Is it a yellow one, too?

So you think it would be a huge difference for you?

[Well, that calls for some amusement on Souji's side as well.]

Have I seduced you without realizing it? I wonder what Joshua-kun would say to that...

[Bros, Ryoji, bros. Why would he mind helping out a person that is important to him and isn't scared of him, huh?]

No, I'm just lucky that Hajime-kun was too stupid to figure out what he was feeling for her. [But he did that for him and Souji is happy enough with that at the moment.] And I guess... it's not like he hasn't betrayed me at some point or anything. [Not that he could say much to that anymore either.]

Haha, no, it's white.

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